Divorced & Determined AF
The show that supports women with the information they need to know before, during and beyond divorce. Your host, Jamie Milam, is a Certified Divorce Specialist® and is determined to empower you to live the life you desire -and deserve- by helping you make informed decisions & take aligned action. Bringing you professional education, personal experiences and tangible resources you can use no matter the stage of divorce you are in. For more divorce support, visit PeaceOfMindDivorce.info To learn more about Jamie Milam, visit JamieMilam.com
Episodes
6 days ago
6 days ago
Splitting your assets in a divorce is no fun, and for many situations it can be convoluted and confusing. There's marital property, separate property, some states have divisible property... how do you differentiate between it all?
I've asked family law attorney, Theresa Viera, to join me today and help us understand the nuances of what constitutes separate property versus marital property, and to offer specific examples to illustrate how assets like retirement accounts and homes are evaluated and divided. Learn about the impact of contributions to marital assets and how that can create a marital interest even in what you may have thought was only separate property.
For more information on the P.E.A.C.E. of Mind Initiative and to access the free resource center, please visit https://peaceofminddivorce.info
Follow us on Instagram @divorcedanddeterminedaf for more ways to help you prepare for what's to come in the divorce journey.
Jamie Milam is a divorcée, Realtor®, Certified Divorce Specialist®, and aligned strategy enthusiast.
CONNECT WITH JAMIE:
https://JamieMilam.com
Instagram | LinkedIn
Theresa Viera is a Family Law Attorney, Family Financial Certified Mediator, and the Founder of Modern Legal.
CONNECT WITH THERESA:
https://ModernLegalNC.com
YouTube
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Episode Moments:
06:00 Understanding Community vs. Equitable Distribution States
10:31 Marital vs. Separate Property: Definitions and Examples
19:46 The Impact of Marital Contributions on Separate Property
27:00 Factors Influencing Equitable Property Division
32:08 Valuing Personal Property in Divorce
37:27 Protecting Your Interests
Monday May 06, 2024
71 - The Overwhelm Antidote You Need in a Divorce
Monday May 06, 2024
Monday May 06, 2024
As women, we tend to carry a burden and responsibility in our minds that's considering everyone else but us. And we hardly speak up about it. When we do start to think about what we want, we somehow find a way to downplay it, dismiss it or even try to convince ourselves we're being unreasonable. "I should be able to just get over this." "I just have too high of expectations." Statements like that can lead to pressure and shame spirals, which lead to overwhelm.
Too much overwhelm can (and certainly will) lead to an elevated and reactive emotional state. A divorce presents its fair share of overwhelm, but is still best navigated when you can keep your wits about you. This episode is all about offering you an antidote to your overwhelm so you can better manage your emotions and reactions, ultimately promoting a calmer, more reflective state of being. By the end, you'll have five quick tricks you can implement today to get your emotions under control before the overwhelm hijacks you.
For more information on the P.E.A.C.E. of Mind Initiative and to access the free resource center, please visit https://peaceofminddivorce.info
Follow us on Instagram @divorcedanddeterminedaf for more ways to help you prepare for what's to come in the divorce journey.
Jamie Milam is a divorcée, Realtor®, Certified Divorce Specialist®, and aligned strategy enthusiast.
CONNECT WITH JAMIE:
https://JamieMilam.com
Instagram | LinkedIn
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Episode Moments:
03:42 Build Up of Overwhelm
07:42 The Impact of Judgment-Free Emotion Management
11:49 Five Techniques to Manage Emotions
21:12 Lifelong Applicability
Monday Apr 29, 2024
70 - First Thing to Do When Considering a Divorce
Monday Apr 29, 2024
Monday Apr 29, 2024
If you're at your wits end with your marriage, feeling lost, and have a thousand questions swirling in your head about your future's unknown, this is the episode is for you. This episode provides emotional support and practical advice for women considering divorce, feeling overwhelmed by the decision-making process.
We discuss how intense emotions like anxiety and stress biologically messes with your ability to process information and make decisions, so you can understand why it's so hard for you to figure out what to do first. Then I'm going to share what you want to do first, in the very beginning, if you're considering a divorce. This first step is going to give you the tool you need to gain clarity on what you need to know, who can help you, and offer you guidance that you can take throughout the entire divorce process if that's what ends up occurring. If you want to dissipate the brain fog and find a clear path, then tune in to learn from those who have been where you are.
References:
Episode 56
The accompanying worksheet can be found in the P.E.A.C.E. of Mind Initiative's free resource library. Please visit https://peaceofminddivorce.info
Follow us on Instagram @divorcedanddeterminedaf for more ways to help you prepare for what's to come in the divorce journey.
Jamie Milam is a divorcée, Realtor®, Certified Divorce Specialist®, and aligned strategy enthusiast.
CONNECT WITH JAMIE:
https://JamieMilam.com
Instagram | LinkedIn
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Episode Moments:
04:10 The Science Behind Your Overwhelm
09:15 Your First Practical Step
14:35 Navigating Key Areas of Divorce
22:22 Empowering Yourself
Monday Apr 22, 2024
Monday Apr 22, 2024
We naturally have a tendency to react emotionally during communications with a soon-to-be ex-partner, but directing those emotions at them can greatly compromise your divorce process. Even if you're not labeled as "high conflict" within your proceedings, you can still encounter challenges if you aren't equipped with some best practices for communicating with your ex.
I've asked Christina Butler, a certified High Conflict Divorce Coach, to join me today to help us understand what those risks are and how we can do our best to avoid them. With a masters in counseling and having experienced divorce herself, she understands the natural emotional reactions we have but has also witnessed how it can negatively impact your settlement and future and will share some of that with us today.
She'll give us the practical advice you need to help you avoid your communication being used against you in court, offer strategies on how to not let your emotions hijack you, and guidance on the best communications modes when it comes to your divorce. We want to help you get through the short term pain so you can reap the long term benefits.
For more information on the P.E.A.C.E. of Mind Initiative and to access the free resource center, please visit https://peaceofminddivorce.info
Follow us on Instagram @divorcedanddeterminedaf for more ways to help you prepare for what's to come in the divorce journey.
Jamie Milam is a divorcée, Realtor®, Certified Divorce Specialist®, and aligned strategy enthusiast.
CONNECT WITH JAMIE:
https://JamieMilam.com
Instagram | LinkedIn
CONNECT WITH CHRISTINA:
https://www.hopekinleycoaching.com/
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Episode moments:
07:27 Understanding Emotional Hijacking in Divorce Conversations
14:08 The Importance of Grieving in the Divorce Process
17:54 The Consequences of Letting Emotions Hijack Communication
22:49 Mindset Shifts for Parents in Divorce
30:28 Best Modes for Divorce Communication
Monday Apr 15, 2024
68 - Your Social Life in Suburbia Changes After Divorce: How to Cope
Monday Apr 15, 2024
Monday Apr 15, 2024
Are you feeling a little out of place in your social circles now that you're going through a divorce? Do you feel like you get invited to less things by your couple friends. Is your new co-parenting schedule making it a little difficult to get on the same page as your friends? Maybe you're like me, and you find yourself not relating to your neighborhood the way you once did. Life in suburbia certainly can feel different once your family dynamics shift after a divorce.
It can be a struggle to find your footing again in social settings after you separate and you may naturally retract from some of the social landscapes you were once a part of. Today's episode is meant to help set you up with potential expectations so you'll 1) feel less isolated if it occurs and 2) know how to cope with it so you can navigate the changing social landscapes more peacefully and rebuild a newly aligned social life.
For more information on the P.E.A.C.E. of Mind Initiative and to access the free resource center, please visit https://peaceofminddivorce.info
Follow us on Instagram @divorcedanddeterminedaf for more ways to help you prepare for what's to come in the divorce journey.
Jamie Milam is a divorcée, Realtor®, Certified Divorce Specialist®, and aligned strategy enthusiast.
CONNECT WITH JAMIE:
https://JamieMilam.com
Instagram | LinkedIn
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Episode Moments:
03:28 Pressures as a Working Mom
06:33 The Impact of Divorce on Social Circles and Friendships
10:12 Finding Support
16:08 Rediscovering Joy
20:16 Looking Forward
Monday Apr 08, 2024
67 - Rebuilding Social Circles: Rosa's Post-Divorce Journey
Monday Apr 08, 2024
Monday Apr 08, 2024
After marriage - and especially after having children - it can be hard to maintain or even create a friendship circle outside of your marriage if you aren't ever able to really get out to see spend time with them. Some women begin to feel so isolated and alone within their own home and aren't able to experience the connection with friends they once enjoyed so much, adding to the overwhelm and loneliness when their marriage is ending.
I've invited a local divorcée, Rosa Sprinkle to share her personal journey of navigating life and building supportive friendships after a taxing marriage and subsequent divorce. Married for 12 years and a stay-at-home mom of four, she details the challenges of lacking adult interaction and feeling subordinate in her marriage, which eventually led to her decision to leave for a healthier life. Like most women, she didn't know what her future held, but she needed more. Going from hardly ever having social time outside of her family with her, to now finding joy in hobbies and activities with friends who share similar experiences, Rosa's story is a testament to the power of friendship, self-discovery, and the pursuit of happiness post-divorce.
For more information on the P.E.A.C.E. of Mind Initiative and to access the free resource center, please visit https://peaceofminddivorce.info
Follow us on Instagram @divorcedanddeterminedaf for more ways to help you prepare for what's to come in the divorce journey.
Jamie Milam is a divorcée, Realtor®, Certified Divorce Specialist®, and aligned strategy enthusiast.
CONNECT WITH JAMIE:
https://JamieMilam.com
Instagram | LinkedIn
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Episode Moments:
04:45 Craving Social Interaction and Support
07:44 Life Before and After Kids: A Shift in Social Life
11:15 The Turning Point: Deciding to Leave
12:40 Building a New Life Post-Divorce
17:36 The Power of Someone that Gets It
26:10 Finding Joy and Connection in New Friendships
Monday Apr 01, 2024
Monday Apr 01, 2024
Kids can really struggle when they're experiencing their parents separating. And the little ones especially don't know how to communicate what they're feeling or the circumstances, and it can in turn affect their behavior. Today Natalie Parmenter, a former elementary school teacher of ten years, and I delve into how children's behavior in the classroom can reflect their experiences of divorce at home. In this episode we're discussing the importance of expanding your kiddo's support system and maintaining a stable environment for them in their school environment - a place they spend a huge amount of their day in. She'll give us practical advice on how to inform your child's teachers about your divorce, including what information to share and the best methods for communication, along with how to handle co-parenting dynamics with the school.
For more information on the P.E.A.C.E. of Mind Initiative and to access the free resource center, please visit https://peaceofminddivorce.info
Follow us on Instagram @divorcedanddeterminedaf for more ways to help you prepare for what's to come in the divorce journey.
Jamie Milam is a divorcée, Realtor®, Certified Divorce Specialist®, and aligned strategy enthusiast.
CONNECT WITH JAMIE:
https://JamieMilam.com
Instagram | LinkedIn
Natalie Parmenter is the founder of Primary Focus: the parent's guide to elementary school.
Snag her free Email Templates to Send to a Teacher
CONNECT WITH NATALIE:
http://www.primaryfocus.tv
Instagram | YouTube
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Episode Moments:
03:51 Teacher's Perspective: Observing Children's Behavior During Divorce
08:00 A Teacher's Insight: Adapting to Children's Needs Amidst Divorce
11:31 Sharing Divorce News with Teachers: Timing, Methods & Details
17:47 Understanding the School's Role and Limitations in Divorce Situations
20:39 Real-Life Consequences of Inadequate Communication with Schools
24:33 Co-Parenting Strategies for Academic Success
DISCLAIMER: The commentary on this podcast is not intended to serve as or replace professional legal, financial or medical advice. While the insights may have wide applicability, listeners should consult with an attorney, CPA, financial advisor, therapist or physician in your state to obtain advice with respect to your particular issue and/or case.
Monday Mar 25, 2024
Monday Mar 25, 2024
I'm tired of hearing that women aren't the best at managing the financials. It's a stereotype that is outdated and it's not serving us. You are capable. In fact, what if I told you that statistically, women are actually better investors than men?
Today I am joined by Sarah Charles, who had found herself on the sidelines of her own financial life in her first marriage. At the age of 33 and facing divorce, Sarah decided to get her financial shit together. Today, not only is she a financial advisor, she is a champion of women’s financial empowerment and an advocate for increasing women’s confidence when it comes to approaching your financial strategy, including but not limited to investing.
So if you want to become more confident about your capabilities, rewrite your own narrative and take back control of your financial life, this episode is for you.
For more information on the P.E.A.C.E. of Mind Initiative and to access the free resource center, please visit https://peaceofminddivorce.info
Follow us on Instagram @divorcedanddeterminedaf for more ways to help you prepare for what's to come in the divorce journey.
Jamie Milam is a divorcée, Realtor®, Certified Divorce Specialist®, and aligned strategy enthusiast.
CONNECT WITH JAMIE:
https://JamieMilam.com
Instagram | LinkedIn
Sarah Charles is the Co-Founder & Managing Principal of Sanctuary Financial Planning, an Investment Advisor, CSRIC®, AIF®.
Book your complimentary 15 minute confidence call with her here.
Listen to Sarah's full money story
CONNECT WITH SARAH:
Instagram | LinkedIn
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Episode Moments:
05:08 Understanding the Concept of a Money Story
10:02 The Evolution of Financial Responsibility and Women's Role
17:04 Step 1 to Building Your Confidence
20:06 Step 2 to Building Your Confidence
26:59 Step 3 AND the Power of Incremental Outperformance
36:00 FUQs: Frequently Unasked Questions
*DISCLAIMER: The commentary on this podcast is not intended to serve as or replace professional legal, financial or medical advice. While the insights may have wide applicability, listeners should consult with an attorney, CPA, financial advisor, therapist or physician in your state to obtain advice with respect to your particular issue and/or case.
Monday Mar 18, 2024
64 - Decoding the Triggers in Your Divorce to Regain Your Peace
Monday Mar 18, 2024
Monday Mar 18, 2024
I never would have imagined that focusing more on me, rather than who or what triggers me, would actually help me more than weighing my pros and cons list. This one practice has been the foundation to rediscovering my peace and finally being connected to myself in ways I never had before. And I want you to experience the same.
Get ready to decode subtle cues your body emits when you're triggered, discover practical methods for deconstructing such triggers, and understand the profound influence they hold over your life choices and relationships. Tune in and prepare to transform your understanding of yourself, your relationships, and your life.
For more information on the P.E.A.C.E. of Mind Initiative and to access the free resource center, please visit https://peaceofminddivorce.info
Follow us on Instagram @divorcedanddeterminedaf for more ways to help you prepare for what's to come in the divorce journey.
Jamie Milam is a divorcée, Realtor®, Certified Divorce Specialist®, and aligned strategy enthusiast.
CONNECT WITH JAMIE:
https://JamieMilam.com
Instagram | LinkedIn
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Episode Moments:
04:07 Understanding Triggers: A Therapist's Perspective
05:11 The Role of Body Cues
10:27 The Role of Disassociation in Trigger Responses
13:34 Creating Boundaries and Communicating Needs
16:10 A Challenge for You to Compassionately Uncover the Root Cause
17:25 Separating Behavior from Person
DISCLAIMER: The commentary on this podcast is not intended to serve as or replace professional legal, financial or medical advice. While the insights may have wide applicability, listeners should consult with an attorney, CPA, financial advisor, therapist or physician in your state to obtain advice with respect to your particular issue and/or case.
Monday Mar 11, 2024
Monday Mar 11, 2024
Can collaborative law actually work? You and your ex can barely stand speaking to one another so how could you actually be in a collaborative process together? What if I told you that it could work even in high conflict cases, but that there are actually things you need to be on the lookout for to ensure it works effectively?
This is Part 2, following episode #62, and I'm continuing the conversation with NY family law attorney, Jackie Caputo, who highlights that collaborative divorce is not a one-size-fits-all approach and while it may not be suitable in all circumstances, it certainly can work in a wide array of cases (including high conflict) and provide a potentially healthier and more constructive framework.
There's a common misconception that in order for collaborative law to work, everyone has to be amicable and unfortunately it's even a misconception that some attorneys have if they haven't been properly trained on the process. This discussion will guide you in what you need to know to set yourself, and your case, up for the best possible outcome. You'll learn what it is you need from the representation on both sides of the table for this to work properly and the questions to ask to help you choose the right attorney for the job.
For more information on the P.E.A.C.E. of Mind Initiative and to access the free resource center, please visit https://peaceofminddivorce.info
Jamie Milam is a divorcée, Realtor®, Certified Divorce Specialist®, and aligned strategy enthusiast.
CONNECT WITH JAMIE:
https://JamieMilam.com
Instagram | LinkedIn
Jackie Caputo is an Associate Attorney at Joseph Law Group in in New York, specializing in Mediation and Collaborative Divorce Law.
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Episode Moments:
00:00 Understanding Who Collaborative Law May Work For
02:26 The Importance of Choosing the Right Divorce Strategy
05:32 The Misconceptions Surrounding Collaborative Law
07:39 The Importance of Proper Training in Collaborative Law
10:57 Questions to Ask to Help You Choose the Right Collaborative Law Attorney
14:11 The Paradigm Shift of Collaborative Law
18:51 Making the Right Decision for You
DISCLAIMER: The commentary on this podcast is not intended to serve as or replace professional legal, financial or medical advice. While the insights may have wide applicability, listeners should consult with an attorney, CPA, financial advisor, therapist or physician in your state to obtain advice with respect to your particular issue and/or case.