Non Relinquam In Arca Operculo!
Gamers 130: 41 Haters
5 days ago
5 days ago
5 days ago
Welcome to the hottest reality show in town, Room 25! Watch some dirty scummers try and escape a complex filled with horrendous booby traps before time runs out! Hooray! Highlights include:
- French translation issues ahoy!
- It's basically Cube: The Game...
- What the fuck game is Sub Zero??
- Special powers? Hard pass!
- Jennifer loves a good vortex…
- Sometimes it just gets to ‘fuck it’ time…
Friday Apr 12, 2024
Friday Apr 12, 2024
Friday Apr 12, 2024
We are amateur dracologists trying to lure dragons into our caves. Do we have the meat? Highlights include:
- Are you an Upgrader?
- Machi Koro: Monopoly without the hatred...
- Beware of box-farts...
- The box gets a bit sensual...
- Never approach a Loyal Fey Dragon with red wings...
- First or nothing!
- Meet Little Miss Five-Egg...
- Amanda becomes the FRAG Dictator...
- Dragons>Birds
- The Bellicose Firevern gets two mentions, whoops!
Thursday Apr 04, 2024
Thursday Apr 04, 2024
Thursday Apr 04, 2024
This week, Mark and I have competed in a challenge to paint a game figure each - despite our limited experience/talent. Highlights include:
- Don't say 'targeted.'
- Mark can't get his head round Games Workshop and Warhammer...
- Games Workshop plus Hornby Railways = the perfect combination!
- Coming soon: Painting Legacy!
- Here's my picture, by William, age 2 1/2...
- Full credit to the employees of Warhammer Cardiff...
- Quit while you're distinctly average...
- Mark knows all the lingo...
- And now here's Riley with the science part...
- Highlighting ALWAYS makes it look better...
- Galaxies of the Guardian??
Thursday Mar 28, 2024
Thursday Mar 28, 2024
Thursday Mar 28, 2024
Guess what? This week, we're coming for Angola! Highlights include:
- We keep getting new territories, but not the ones we've targeted!
- Marbles: not for boys, apparently...
- I can't remember, or in fact find, Space Alert...
- Angolan war, no thanks. Space war? Monster war? Yes please!
Thursday Mar 21, 2024
Thursday Mar 21, 2024
Thursday Mar 21, 2024
This week, can we lure some listeners from Andorra? Highlights include:
- In case you didn't know, Andorra is the 6th smallest state in Europe...
- Andorra may or may not have its own games industry...
- Andorra and Legends of Andor are not the same...
Thursday Mar 14, 2024
Thursday Mar 14, 2024
Thursday Mar 14, 2024
This week we try and lure in some Albanians! Highlights include:
- We may not have got Afghanistan, but we got Korea!
- Heritage games... a new category?
- Naturally, the Balkan wars dominate Albania themed games...
- It's hypothetically Albanian...
- Is it a board game, or just a war newspaper?
Thursday Mar 07, 2024
Thursday Mar 07, 2024
Thursday Mar 07, 2024
This week, we attempt to lure in the listeners of Afghanistan! Highlights include:
- Games in Afghanistan seem like non-stop pranks!
- Kite Fighting!!!
- That well known Afghanistan themed board game, Rambo!
- We learn some history with Pax Pamir...
- Afghanistan is not where I thought it was...
- Here's my new BFF, William Hay MacNaghton...
Friday Mar 01, 2024
Friday Mar 01, 2024
Friday Mar 01, 2024
This week, we try to work out another game, but this time it's on Tabletopia, where there is no rules help whatsoever! Can we figure something out? Highlights include:
- Tabletopia proves to be just as intuitive as ever...
- No matching results...
- Pick a random hand size...
- How do we get more cards?
- We actually got a lot of things correct!
- Mark still doesn't know the difference between spades and clubs...
- Is that a 7 or a 2?
- Suites?
- The otters and the anteaters vs the skull people...
- Welcome to the Regiverse...
- Would you rather have a shit rule book, or no rule book?
Thursday Feb 22, 2024
Thursday Feb 22, 2024
Thursday Feb 22, 2024
This week, we make the bold assumption that we know enough about games that we should be able to work one out without reading the rules. Highlights include:
- Mark still can't say the motto...
- Surely we've got all the countries by now?
- But why does the hexagon change?
- Building buildings seems like a good thing to do...
- I completed two missions by accident...
- Coffee pots and bird feeders, what?
- Mark loves moving the tortoise...
Thursday Feb 15, 2024
Thursday Feb 15, 2024
Thursday Feb 15, 2024
In the pine forests of Colony 9, our heroes find themselves held at gunpoint by a suspicious Reborn, a debt-collecting Monotan and a vengeful Fraxis - Can they talk or fight their way out?
Thursday Feb 08, 2024
Thursday Feb 08, 2024
Thursday Feb 08, 2024
This week, we're raiding a temple for a priceless artifact - watch out for booby traps, the locals, and of course, a giant volcanic eruption! Highlights include:
- Are we the bad guys?
- Can you hear the baby?
- Welcome to the Precarea!
- Templus Non-Cromulus...
- If you're an explorer, wear a fedora...
Thursday Feb 01, 2024
Thursday Feb 01, 2024
Thursday Feb 01, 2024
Mark is blasting off into space, while I monitor things from Mission Control... what could go wrong? Highlights include:
- Thank god NASA did it better than we did...
- We hope you like NASA facts...
- I didn't know Gnasher did space missions?
- 1/5 of the mission complete is fine, right?
- We were basically Challenger...
- Do you want to make a space baby?
- Going to space makes you stupid...
- Anyone for space-tennis?
- You have to do this science experiment, but I'm not going to tell you how!
Thursday Jan 25, 2024
Thursday Jan 25, 2024
Thursday Jan 25, 2024
This week, we're hapless writers, trying to get our movies optioned by the studio. Can we win the prestigious yet dubious awards whilst at the same time factoring in the bizarre requests from the studio execs? Highlights include:
- Anti-clockwise????
- Podcast trip to Uzbekistan!
- Would you rather an unknown plot, or an unknown character?
- Theseus what?
- Jane = Cannibal
- Is this Sarah's first 5?
- Uncharacteristically, I miss out a few rules...
- Sarah comes dangerously close to saying the M word...
Thursday Jan 18, 2024
Thursday Jan 18, 2024
Thursday Jan 18, 2024
It's a game of cat and mouse, but can the fugitive reach home base before the marshal tracks him down? Highlights include:
- I am lacking in deduction and wit...
- Nought/Zero, Zed/Zee, Aitch/Haitch... whatever!
- Counting is hard...
- You actually need to be intelligent to be the marshal...
- It's Marsha the Marshal!
- If you're careful, you can play this in the bath...
- It's not you, it's me...
Thursday Jan 11, 2024
Thursday Jan 11, 2024
Thursday Jan 11, 2024
Range based trivia... how confident are you that you're correct, and will you score big because of it? Highlights include:
- Bunty's phone is blowing up because she's so popular...
- 9 years old?
- Copy, Swap or Double?
- How many countries are there in the world?
- Forget Gareth Thomas, how long would it take us to do an Iron Man challenge?
- How wet is a leek?
- I temporarily lose the ability to speak...
- Where's the English?
- It's not even made in Wales...
- What is the average Frag of an Organised Fun game?
Thursday Jan 04, 2024
Thursday Jan 04, 2024
Thursday Jan 04, 2024
How close can you put a magnetic stone next to another magnetic stone without them sticking together? Highlights include:
- Don't eat the magnets, even though you want to!
- Neodymium, ooh!
- Everyone knows bigger magnets are more magnetty...
- 24 is a perfect number...
- Beautiful stones surrounded by a bit of coat...
- Little kittens are distracting...
Thursday Dec 28, 2023
Thursday Dec 28, 2023
Thursday Dec 28, 2023
It's that time of year again, where you get to hear us bumble through some Exit puzzles in an attempt to save Christmas!
Thursday Dec 21, 2023
Thursday Dec 21, 2023
Thursday Dec 21, 2023
This week, we aim to get to the bottom of the ultimate question: which pet shat on the floor? Highlights include:
- Any poo mentioned is strictly 'in game'
- Memory. Speed. Poo.
- Cat, gerbil, rabbit - all the same, innit...
- Sarah's manicure gives her an unfair advantage...
- No lady should leave home without a turd in a box
- Dobble: like snap but you injure yourself...
- Why is the fish even a suspect?
- This game cannot be played in space...
Thursday Dec 14, 2023
Thursday Dec 14, 2023
Thursday Dec 14, 2023
This week, we discuss all things homebrewed! Highlights include:
- Sometimes rules are just bad and need changing...
- What if you break the game forever?
- What exactly goes on in Vermont?
- Don't mix real expansions with fan-made ones, please!
- Codenames: Duet? Thank the fans!
- I made a fan expansion out of malicious intent...
Thursday Dec 07, 2023
Thursday Dec 07, 2023
Thursday Dec 07, 2023
I've homebrewed an expansion for my favourite legacy game - using as many of the previous bits as possible! Highlights include:
- Pat ate a sheep's head
- Why wouldn't you have all the dinosaurs?
- Have I unbalanced the game? Does it matter?
- Sometimes you visit Jurassic Park and it's fun. Sometimes though, people die
- Listen up, Prospero Hall!
- Maybe needs some budget?
Thursday Nov 30, 2023
Thursday Nov 30, 2023
Thursday Nov 30, 2023
Two rival houses warring against each other for control of the land, which just so happens to be watched over by a huge angry dragon. Hate it when that happens! Highlights include:
- It's the first game we can't actually pronounce...
- What is Qoam anyway?
- A dragon is basically a fantasy WMD
- My lair has layers...
Thursday Nov 23, 2023
Thursday Nov 23, 2023
Thursday Nov 23, 2023
This week, we're faced with multiple dilemmas of trolley murder. Who can make the best moral arguments between increasingly ridiculous options? Highlights include:
- You can't cull games from someone else's collection...
- Amanda keeps her games hidden, like she's embarrassed or something?
- Knowing someone is not the same as liking someone...
- Oh, Gandhi no!
- You can't kill your own mother!
- Who cares about young George Washington?
- Not many people can say they've met a leprechaun...
- Literally no-one will miss Justin Bieber...
- Some people are binmen, some people are lawyers, and some people euthanise animals...
- Fuck your boss!
- Malala? She's peaked...
- If you're dumb enough to set up your table on a train track, you deserve everything you get...
- Surely nobody's gonna target me for The Purge?
- It wouldn't be an episode with the girls without some Munchkin bashing...
- I get desecrated...
Thursday Nov 16, 2023
Thursday Nov 16, 2023
Thursday Nov 16, 2023
Don't panic! But we discuss why you might, whether we have, and would we regret culling boardgames! Highlights include:
- You can't move house every time you run out of shelf space
- There's some shocking revelations for Mark
- Monopoly causes an argument
- Do you collect or curate?
Thursday Nov 09, 2023
Thursday Nov 09, 2023
Thursday Nov 09, 2023
Just another day's work for our crew - delivering post/hunting a bounty on Colony 9, planet of the Reborn! What could go wrong, right?
Thursday Nov 02, 2023
Thursday Nov 02, 2023
Thursday Nov 02, 2023
Team PJJ are back, and this time we're trying to escape the plague ridden town of Bristol on an apple cart. As you do. Highlights include:
- Overview!
- The Chandler: one of the lowest ranking citizens of Bristol
- It's simple: get to the front and stay at the front
- Time for a cart party
- I feel sorry for the chickens
- We go on a bardcore tangent
- Did Forbidden Planet exist in 1350?
Thursday Oct 26, 2023
Thursday Oct 26, 2023
Thursday Oct 26, 2023
I did something extremely uncharacteristic and entered a game design contest! Find out how it goes!
Thursday Oct 19, 2023
Thursday Oct 19, 2023
Thursday Oct 19, 2023
Matt joins us IRL for some backstabbing traitorous card action - sadly, Claudia Winkleman is not included. Highlights that ARE included:
- False Business Alarm
- Apologies to anyone called Barbara...
- Everyone likes killing Meriel
- You don't want to out yourself as a murderer
- Prepare to have your faith in humanity destroyed
- Matt FRAGs off the cuff
- 8 year olds should be able to count to 5
Thursday Oct 12, 2023
Thursday Oct 12, 2023
Thursday Oct 12, 2023
Diseases are spreading across the world, and pretty soon they'll be too entrenched for humanity to survive - luckily there's a dispatcher and an operations expert ready to save the day. (They did not save the day) Highlights include:
- Featuring the well known 'Ugh Mechanic'
- Tokyo exploded
- And now, it's the shittery phase
- The game itself is a pandemic
Thursday Oct 05, 2023
Thursday Oct 05, 2023
Thursday Oct 05, 2023
This week, we're turning our hand to farming - but can we harvest a crop of lovely cabbages before those bloody cows trample all over them? Highlights include:
- This episode is udderly delightful
- Nobody wants to play Mark's games...
- Hong Kong: it's a mystery
- One cow ruins the cabbage salad
Thursday Sep 28, 2023
Thursday Sep 28, 2023
Thursday Sep 28, 2023
A desolate space station, drifting through space - are we going to try and fix it? No of course not, we're fighting each other, obviously! Highlights include:
- I forgot to tell the girls the name of the game
- We learn all about apostrophes
- Good job nobody got penetrated by the Greys
- The Marines will win. End of.
- Guns are better than Science
- The tragic tale of the Small Laboratory...
Thursday Sep 21, 2023
Thursday Sep 21, 2023
Thursday Sep 21, 2023
Riley joins us for our next design challenge - games that can fit on a single playing card! But will the limitations prove too much? Highlights include:
- Mark almost does an infinite dice roll
- Together, Mark and Riley become a teacher's worst nightmare
- Wait... Maths?
- What is the Mac equivalent of Paint?
- Ever wanted to have a staring contest but not known how? We can help!
- It's Beetle Drive, but with the Key To Time
- No Relinquams In Arkham Horror Operculo
Thursday Sep 14, 2023
Thursday Sep 14, 2023
Thursday Sep 14, 2023
After escaping Fraxia Beta, the crew of the AGA-0 take a much needed break at The Space Bar...
Thursday Sep 07, 2023
Thursday Sep 07, 2023
Thursday Sep 07, 2023
This week, we play around with ChatGPT - can it make a convincing boardgame? How does it know what a boardgame even is? Is it actual magic? Highlights include:
- Dinosaurs? They're so 90s Germany
- I'd actually play Nightmare Manor
- It knows all the buzzwords
- Roll It To 5... otherwise known as Yahtzee
- Aqua Doodle Challenge sounds well shit
- Keep rolling those dice, strategising those moves, and sharing the joy
Thursday Aug 31, 2023
Thursday Aug 31, 2023
Thursday Aug 31, 2023
The court is in session as we attempt to solve your gaming dilemmas! Highlights include:
- Judge Judy gets quite a lot of airtime
- Not sponsored by McDonald's, honest
- Fictional Derek takes a bashing
- Most of these problems can be solved by simply uninviting the undesirable guest
- Sometimes you just need to be a bit harsh, and sometimes you need to just chill out
- If you need to confront someone, wait for Nan's birthday
- Who is Hans and why are we holding him?
- You stand accused of Ludophilia
Thursday Aug 24, 2023
Thursday Aug 24, 2023
Thursday Aug 24, 2023
We have to get the ring to Mordor before we're overwhelmed by its corruption - watch out for goblins! Highlights include:
- Gutted for the Diana Jones award
- Get ready for Welsh
- Sarah doesn't know who anybody is
- Check out that field though!
- Dead grandma banter
- There's some disgusting goblin racism
- Turns out in a co-op game, we actually have to work together
- We're all agreed, we don't use the ring, right Sarah? Right Sarah???
- Come on Frodo, stop crying and just get on with it
Thursday Aug 17, 2023
Thursday Aug 17, 2023
Thursday Aug 17, 2023
We play 26 games in a row - one for every letter of the alphabet! Highlights include:
- They didn't know the time in the olden days
- We try and stick to gaming par
- Hostage Negotiator becomes Hostage Murderer
- International Rescue can only help you once they've rolled a 6
- We show the harsh contrast between set up time and play time
- Shadi Torbey gets an official apology
- A 15 year old could eat a meeple
- The Table Is Lava got my child hooked on... lava
- We lose our head start around W
Thursday Aug 10, 2023
Thursday Aug 10, 2023
Thursday Aug 10, 2023
We're back on Fireball Island! Highlights include:
- Strap in for some cool ice puns
- The island gets bastardy
- Would you rather be permanently injured, or lose some treasure?
- We spend a considerable amount of time discussing 'Model Railway: The Board Game'
- I can't get used to saying X instead of Twitter
Thursday Aug 03, 2023
Thursday Aug 03, 2023
Thursday Aug 03, 2023
This time our battle rages across the Dreamlands - watch out for Zoogs! Highlights include:
- Why would you even go to the Underworld?
- The Bhole... sounds shit
- I can't wait to DICER this game
- Can you make a board game out of ice? Why has nobody done this?
- This is the Playmobil of board games
- Mark doesn't care whether he's invading a country or a library
Thursday Jul 27, 2023
Thursday Jul 27, 2023
Thursday Jul 27, 2023
After taking a direct hit to the engines and leaving Jack behind on Fraxia Beta, the crew of the AGA-0 are forced to make some hasty repairs!
Thursday Jul 20, 2023
Thursday Jul 20, 2023
Thursday Jul 20, 2023
A light-hearted boardgame with a fatal curse... can we solve the mystery of The Ghost in the Attic? Highlights include:
- Anybody for Cribbage?
- We wasted the first ten minutes because I can't read
- Who the fuck is Alice Brooks?
- You could wrap this back up and give it to someone else... but I won't
- You get a whole bonus game to play!
- Yeah, but what *is* an armillary sphere?
- Beware the freaky clawboards
- Ghost in the Attic? A fucking monkey could play it!
Thursday Jul 13, 2023
Thursday Jul 13, 2023
Thursday Jul 13, 2023
5 years! Here we look back on the last 12 months of Organised Fun! Highlights include:
- Turns out 41 is a prime number
- I get proper obsessed with the H-Index
- Bad news for Derek Ring fans (he's not dead though)
- Losing your fingers: probably not a dream come true
- Quite often, when you buy something, you know what it is
- Thoughts and prayers for Anneka Rice's washing machine
- The girls are proper harsh
- Sarah starts off with a board game low-light
- Bunty chooses a game from the future!
- Kimmy only likes a game if she wins
- It's a good old time
- Riley forgets Kyle's name
Thursday Jul 06, 2023
Thursday Jul 06, 2023
Thursday Jul 06, 2023
The flat gets trashed as we compete to complete random tasks! Highlights include:
- Things may get untidy
- It's my new obsession
- What would you sacrifice in the name of the game?
- Can you rediscover gravity?
- 'Fish out of water: Everything is connected'
- Meet Rory the Toilet Septopus
- Word types cause way more trouble than expected
- Americans! Have you heard of this?
Thursday Jun 29, 2023
Thursday Jun 29, 2023
Thursday Jun 29, 2023
We join the crew of the AGA-0 on a routine job, delivering a birthday gift for a Fraxis commander's daughter, but all is not as it seems...
Thursday Jun 22, 2023
Thursday Jun 22, 2023
Thursday Jun 22, 2023
We scratch off a poster that lists 100 board games that they think you should play! Highlights include:
- Vietnam: It's the best thing since Saudi Arabia
- What's your tally?
- Gaia from Captain Planet probably doesn't have her own board game
- Why Birmingham?
- Most board games just seem to be 'where can we build a civilisation?'
- Did they make a board game about a cruise ship disaster?
- Where is Mombasa?
- Just because you like games doesn't mean you know every game ever
Thursday Jun 15, 2023
Thursday Jun 15, 2023
Thursday Jun 15, 2023
We start the final game in our Renegade RPG series, Teens In Space! How will it compare to Bikes and Brooms? Highlights include:
- We hear lots more celebrities and fictional characters for game night!
- Will Riley ever shut up?
- Bunty's character gets right slated
- We love a good pressure gauge...
Thursday Jun 08, 2023
Thursday Jun 08, 2023
Thursday Jun 08, 2023
It's the sequel to last week's minisode, and this time we're inviting fictional characters to our game night! Who will have cultivated the best guest list? Highlights include:
- Anneka Rice drops us a tweet
- We're so predictable that we doubled up again
- Ian Malcolm vs Sherlock Holmes
- Sherlock could probably win Cluedo on the first turn
-Have you ever played a game with a fictional character? What??
Thursday Jun 01, 2023
Thursday Jun 01, 2023
Thursday Jun 01, 2023
This week, we answer the age old question of which celebrities would you invite to play boardgames? Highlights include:
- Agatha Christie would be too good at deduction games
- Boudicca would kill you if she lost
- Let's get Napoleon onto Pitchcar
- You'd get nowhere with Jeff Goldblum
- Sam West keeps his games vertically. Oh dear
- Pocahontas is not fictional
Thursday May 25, 2023
Thursday May 25, 2023
Thursday May 25, 2023
It's a small world, after all! Various civilisations are vying for control of the underground territories of Smallworld. Can they successfully spread their influence before they're forced to go into decline? Highlights include:
- I've done the laziest logo ever
- All the tokens did in fact spill out
- Recommended for experienced Smallworld players - whoops
- It's all about the size of your army, right?
- This is my wife, Mystic Crystal Region
Thursday May 18, 2023
Thursday May 18, 2023
Thursday May 18, 2023
The evil Fire Elementals are sweeping across the land, threatening to burn our forest to ash - the total shits! Can we strategically place some water fountains and save the day? Highlights include:
- We were definitely not skilful
- Ravage... pawn?
- Everyone knows the friendliest woodland creature is the whale
- There's lots of flame related bastardry
- What is the point of a strength zero card?
- Is that a pigaphant?
- It shows the harsh reality of forest fires
- It might be dream world, but there still needs to be rules
- Thanks for listening
Thursday May 11, 2023
Thursday May 11, 2023
Thursday May 11, 2023
For some reason, the Sydney Royal Botanical Gardens have built all their landmarks, but haven't got any paths to connect them - I hate it when that happens! Looks like it's up to us to take a walk in the park and join things up. Watch out for Bin-Chickens! Highlights include:
- Has Anneka Rice been there?
- We've never had an 'acknowledgement of country' before
- The landmarks are very pretty, but what actually are they?
- Ibises... Are they precious and protected, or scum of the skies?
- Ladies and gentlemen, it's a Write and Stroll game
- Turns out I was making a graveyard/dinosaur park
- Could you play a game 600 times?
- Practical replayability vs mental replayability
- It's a little bit griddy
Thursday May 04, 2023
Thursday May 04, 2023
Thursday May 04, 2023
Our heroes have returned from the past with the evidence they need to confront Ms Merriweather, but is she just going to allow her plans to be thwarted so easily?
Thursday Apr 27, 2023
Thursday Apr 27, 2023
Thursday Apr 27, 2023
Our crappy spaceship is awash with malfunctions, and we're only five minutes away from getting sucked into a black hole! I hate it when that happens! Can we fix the ship before total destruction? Highlights include:
- Turn on the Gigaflange!
- Oh, that's why Sarah was whispering!
- Is that part of the ship?
- It really teaches you the reality of spaceship repair
- If you leave out the bongs and dildos, you could totally play this with your mum
Thursday Apr 20, 2023
Thursday Apr 20, 2023
Thursday Apr 20, 2023
The Owl and the Pussycat went to space, then had a huge fucking battle to blow the shit out of each other! Highlights include:
- We choose ships for very different reasons
- Mark doesn't know what HUD stands for. Or EMP...
- It's dice chucking fun!
- FIRE!
- Well, that escalated!
- It has major StarFox vibes...
- If you have a plastic spaceship, why would you use a cardboard counter?
- We DO NOT give half scores
- I manage to not do a German accent
Thursday Apr 13, 2023
Thursday Apr 13, 2023
Thursday Apr 13, 2023
It's the final game of our 'Mystery Box Trilogy' - this time we're rolling dice to score points. Simple, right? Highlights include:
- Do you want chapters?
- 'Plays great with 2 players' hint hint!
- It doesn't make you feel very clever
- Do you know the difference between blue and purple? Well here's blurple!
- It's a cross between sudoku and a maths exam
- They've imagined the future, and it's brown
- It's been LTRD at 27
- You'll get clevererer each time you play
Thursday Apr 06, 2023
Thursday Apr 06, 2023
Thursday Apr 06, 2023
We aim to recreate the luxury dining experience of the Pullman car - but can we get everyone's orders sorted before their journey is complete? Highlights include:
- Alice Paster wants teacakes
- Bloody Jeanette Tipple, make your mind up!
- Can you smoke on the train? In those days, probably...
- Mark likes food, Phil likes trains... it's the perfect combo
- This game DOES NOT need a whistle
- Oh sorry madam, I got your order sorted but didn't notice
- This game makes you hungry. And also it makes you want to go on a train
Thursday Mar 30, 2023
Thursday Mar 30, 2023
Thursday Mar 30, 2023
In the second of our Alleycat Games trilogy, it's a race to explore a randomly thrown card galaxy. With cats. Obviously. Highlights include:
- Catstronauts is actually quite difficult to say
- Is it possible to have a strategy?
- Phil can't do orange and Pat can't do blue
- Should Pat start us off?
- It was the allotted amount of fun
- Your kitten needs a face
- 2 and below, that's lose territory
Thursday Mar 23, 2023
Thursday Mar 23, 2023
Thursday Mar 23, 2023
It's clear that Ms Merriweather is up to no good - but where to get the concrete evidence needed to bring her down? It's time to look to the past to find out what really happened on the fateful day of the Hollyfirth Flower Show!
Thursday Mar 16, 2023
Thursday Mar 16, 2023
Thursday Mar 16, 2023
Our school trip has gone horrifically wrong and now we're stranded on an island in the middle of nowhere - but it gets worse! The boat is fucked and there appears to be a psychopathic killer lurking about - who will survive? Highlights include:
- Sarah just can't accept the fact that she was murdered
- What happened to the boat that's wrecked the battery and the propeller?
- Everyone knows killers decide their victims with 'Ip Dip Dog Shit'
- Cables for the radio? Don't need those!
- Amanda is more of a killer than the actual killer
- There's dark and moody, and then there's completely black
- Ah fuck yeah, firewood!
- Did Jane do???
- Cue the interruption shenanigans
- Even now, the Munchkin trauma runs deep
Thursday Mar 09, 2023
Thursday Mar 09, 2023
Thursday Mar 09, 2023
We've binned off Pluto as the ninth planet, then inexplicably gone off in search of another one. Whatever. Highlights include:
- Mark drifts off into space
- Each time you say 'Atlantis' you have to pay someone a dollar
- It's been a while since we've had a font-related FRAG
- We pause for a brief Easter egg hunt
- And now for the tax section of the podcast...
Friday Mar 03, 2023
Friday Mar 03, 2023
Friday Mar 03, 2023
World War 2 is over, and Germany now needs to redevelop its infrastructure, starting with the Autobahn network to connect the cities and get some trade going - the only problem is, we seem to be in charge of this endeavour. Eeeek! Highlights include:
- You can be charitable, you know
- Mark just wanted to drive a truck around the board
- Yes, I'm aware Copenhagen isn't a country
- If in doubt, build a service station
- If you're wondering the food I couldn't remember, it was frankfurter
- Play this game and get a free German history degree
Thursday Feb 23, 2023
Thursday Feb 23, 2023
Thursday Feb 23, 2023
We play another classic, Yahtzee! Highlights include:
- We open the mystery box!
- A Yahtzee with sixes is the king of Yahtzees, surely?
- If you don't know what you're doing by roll 2, you're screwed
Thursday Feb 16, 2023
Thursday Feb 16, 2023
Thursday Feb 16, 2023
Hat theft is rife as we play Coppit! There doesn't appear to be any storyline going on here, just hold on to your hats! Highlights include:
- Patrick forgets what colours are
- Play until Meriel gets stupid and bitchy
- What's your strategy? One hat? Two hats? Not... THREE HATS??
- There's gonna be a coppin'
- It's a 'Grandma's House' game
Thursday Feb 09, 2023
Thursday Feb 09, 2023
Thursday Feb 09, 2023
We're enrolled at VGHS - a brutally competitive institution training the elite gamers of tomorrow! Who will rise to the number one top spot, and who will get totally pwnd? Highlights include:
- Amanda has clearly never seen Guinan before
- VGHS is loud
- Jane's speciality = being the worst
- Stupid Ted Wong!
- I'm an ancient looking bully
- Please welcome to the stage, Jenny and the Guns!
- RIP Marvel Dice Masters
- Amanda is a typical American
Thursday Feb 02, 2023
Thursday Feb 02, 2023
Thursday Feb 02, 2023
We embark on an epic legacy campaign chronicling the ups and downs of Isla Nublar and its genetically enhanced dinosaur occupants. Can we successfully build and run a functioning dino theme park, or will a shit load of people get eaten due to management incompetence? Highlights include:
- Do you have a board game limit?
- Kelly Malcolm gets a bashing
- Zones and Sectors... Spaces?
- Is this monster gonna eat me, or the goat next door?
- Hungry? Follow the chomp chart!
- Narratively, how would a dinosaur teleport?
- Jurassic Park, famously created by Richard Hammond
- Because why wouldn't you make a Pythonosaurus?
- Forget all about the dinosaurs escaping and all the industrial espionage, this tour group wants to see the petting zoo
- Patrick has too much whiskey
- Aww you lost - scratch off the sympathy box
- Patrick forgets what his but is
- I accidentally put wolverine DNA in my Spinosaurus
Thursday Jan 26, 2023
Thursday Jan 26, 2023
Thursday Jan 26, 2023
Board games are pretty! Board games are artistic! Show off your best/most creative boardgame photos for a chance to win a game with us! Submit on Twitter or Facebook! Highlights include:
- It's our first actual competition!
- RIP Gloria Goldberg
- Any dilemmas for the Board Game Court?
- Get submitting your pics on the socials, yeah?
Thursday Jan 19, 2023
Thursday Jan 19, 2023
Thursday Jan 19, 2023
There's a way to save Xavier! But how many times will Grace and Jessie have to repeat Thursday before they get it right?
Also, don't forget to vote for your favourite Game Night invite! Let us know either on the Facebook page or the Twitter feed!
Thursday Jan 12, 2023
Thursday Jan 12, 2023
Thursday Jan 12, 2023
This week, we're talking about what makes a game night! What's important? Who do you invite? What games do you choose? Do you just follow a spreadsheet? Highlights include:
- The people have voted: the Meeples must die!
- Three courses, like a dinner
- Welcome to game night, here's Onirim
- What's that werewolf one? ...Werewolf
- You have to trick your guests into thinking they have a choice
- No whiners
- If you're not having a good time, just leave
Thursday Jan 05, 2023
Thursday Jan 05, 2023
Thursday Jan 05, 2023
It's another December of puzzles as we endeavour to retrieve Santa's Golden Book from a mysterious thief!
Thursday Dec 29, 2022
Thursday Dec 29, 2022
Thursday Dec 29, 2022
After Dorset Applecake was eaten on live TV, the Hydra/Serpent... Hydrant? is searching for more victims - But why? What's the connection? And are our heroes at risk?
Thursday Dec 22, 2022
Thursday Dec 22, 2022
Thursday Dec 22, 2022
Grace is back from her exclusion, but in her absence, frightful machinations have been taking place - what trouble does this spell for Hollyfirth and indeed, the whole magical community?
Thursday Dec 15, 2022
Thursday Dec 15, 2022
Thursday Dec 15, 2022
Riley joins us in the royal court, where the Princess is a bit upset after her mother got arrested for treason (Understandable). It has been widely understood that the only way to cheer her up is to profess your love in a letter. So which of us will get our letter to the princess first? Will she even read it? Highlights include:
- We give you the tragic tale of Amy Johnson
- The mechanic is... cards
- Is Riley a priest?
- The protective power of Handmaids
- Batman is never seen without his velvet pouch
- The medieval times was notorious for munters and slags
Thursday Dec 08, 2022
Thursday Dec 08, 2022
Thursday Dec 08, 2022
I chat to Thatcher from Dark Doll Games all about his upcoming project Witchbound! Part choose your own adventure, part ttrpg, part puzzler - make sure you check out the project page on Gamefound!
Thursday Dec 01, 2022
Thursday Dec 01, 2022
Thursday Dec 01, 2022
Join us on the open seas as we sail our freighters around the Bermuda Triangle, trying to earn our fortunes by collecting precious cargo. Wait... is that a storm brewing? Highlights include:
- I want to watch Captain Power
- Colour-coding the FRAG page has highlighted some major concerns
- I've learned some geography
- When in doubt, get some oil
- You're not even safe in port
- Oil is worth more than sugar, yeah?
Thursday Nov 24, 2022
Thursday Nov 24, 2022
Thursday Nov 24, 2022
We were just going about our daily business in Starfleet, making some general repairs on the USS Enterprise, when we get hijacked by a bloody Klingon! Hate it when that happens! Can we get the ship back in time? Highlights include:
- It's not filmed in actual space, sorry
- You must go clockwise - it's the law of board games
- There has been a major lapse in security
- I finished the game in unnecessary stasis
- Get ready for Bij
- Sarah is an extremely 'thoughtful' player
- Nobody wants a low powered beave
- Made locally don't you know
- Amanda pulls rank
- Why are all the good guys human? Racist!
- Munchkin has really traumatised us
Thursday Nov 17, 2022
Thursday Nov 17, 2022
Thursday Nov 17, 2022
Patrick and I were just doing some casual caving when we fell down a hole and got stuck. I hate it when that happens! Can we avoid tremors, floods and toxic cave gas to escape before our torch batteries run out? Oh, and I don't think we're alone down here... Highlights include:
- Nobody in this cave is fit
- There's no action tokens, so please never mention them again
- It's a right cave of shittery
- Has anybody seen Steve?
Thursday Nov 10, 2022
Thursday Nov 10, 2022
Thursday Nov 10, 2022
Patrick and Meriel join me for an epic 15 game campaign of war, in which our world will be forever changed! Highlights include:
- Pat is a total villain
- It's all about the packs, baby
- Which shitty mangled world shall we play on today?
- Narratively speaking, I screwed myself over
- If you're not an alien or a mutant, you're basically trash
- Riots... pfff
- Unsurprisingly, there's no reward if you die
- Naming things is an immense pressure
- Some continents are just... shit
- The dice are incredibly unforgiving
- There was one day where I had the rage
- Sometimes you just have to be a bastard
- This will severely alter the victory stats
- Alaska is like, literally gone
- Jump to 3:84 for a completely out of time experience
- The highs were high and the lows were low
- You might get Risk Fatigue
Thursday Nov 03, 2022
Thursday Nov 03, 2022
Thursday Nov 03, 2022
Riley joins us as we all gather round and... dunk fake biscuits into fake tea. Why are we doing this? To avoid the sludgy cup, of course! Highlights include:
- The board did what??
- Now you can find your favourite guest's episodes!
- The rules seem to think we were doing something quite different...
- Once again, Mark forgets all the main elements of how these episodes work
- Do you like a girthy biscuit?
- Tony, what have you done?
- Do YOU know what 'The Biscuit Game' is?
- It's a tea related breakdown
- Brackets are important
Thursday Oct 27, 2022
Thursday Oct 27, 2022
Thursday Oct 27, 2022
Thanks to Cynthia Whipshaft's lies, Grace has been taken away! Can the others collect enough evidence to prove her innocence and get her back, and what will she discover up in the Welsh mountains?
Thursday Oct 20, 2022
Thursday Oct 20, 2022
Thursday Oct 20, 2022
School's out and the kids have got to get home. Trouble is, the town is full of aliens! Literally hate it when that happens! Highlights include:
- We got a rule wrong last week. What you gonna do about it?
- Now you can play Monopoly FOREVER
- Half the fun is naming the kids
- You might get stuck with a handful of bus
- Got a problem? Ask Holiday Jones
- You'll be safe at the prom, surely?
- They're not aliens, they're 'strangers'
- American bins don't typically have 'US Mail' on the side
- Why would I kill my own twins?
- Ben Stoll: King of Cryptozoic
- Mark gets confused between Marvel and DC
- Who froze?
Thursday Oct 13, 2022
Thursday Oct 13, 2022
Thursday Oct 13, 2022
Our robots are enjoying a lovely swim when a shark starts chasing them. I hate it when that happens! Who will make it to safety, and who will get bit? Highlights include:
- 'Tabletop' is just not inclusive enough... what about games you play on a lawn?
- Hey baby, wanna come play flat surface games with me?
- Congratulations to Tim!
- They have to be robots otherwise it would be a massacre
- How many bits can you break a robot into anyway?
- Hmmm... I think you can hear my tumble dryer
Thursday Oct 06, 2022
Thursday Oct 06, 2022
Thursday Oct 06, 2022
Ten turns. Four letters. Infinite possibilities (unless you're illiterate). Highlights include:
- It's the best selling game in the world, apparently
- Research (looking things up on the internet)
- Masterblind: You won't see it coming
- It's Wordle, innit
- You've got black and white pegs
- Mark admits that he turns the sound down when I'm talking
- Don't forget, there's black and white pegs
- It's not Stephen Hawking or anything
- It's got a board. It's got pegs (black and white)
- We hope you enjoy 70s Brown
- The 70s is not ancient
- If you can play it without the board and pieces, does it need to exist?
Thursday Sep 29, 2022
Thursday Sep 29, 2022
Thursday Sep 29, 2022
Chargeball is back! Now featuring slightly less shit production value, as well as some new boards, cards and tokens. Oh yeah, and a TTS version too - Woo! Highlights include:
- Throwback to Year 1
- Imagine Space Rugby. Magical Space Rugby.
- Mark talks about the hexagons like they're new, but they aren't
- Penalty cards (Copyright Riley Stock 2022)
- Get the ball. Score some points
- I Pinocchioed it
- Mark frequently forgets that he's presenting this one
- Ugh, if you want to play it yourself? Eeewww!
- Coming soon - all the games Mark hated, from worst to best worst
Thursday Sep 22, 2022
Thursday Sep 22, 2022
Thursday Sep 22, 2022
Phil, Tim and Riley compete in the Ancient Game Tomb Challenge! A set of random components have been unearthed in a freshly discovered tomb. Perhaps they are part of a game of some sort? We each pitch our games, but the vote is down to you! Highlights include:
- Which do you prefer, reviews or 'other' content?
- MS Paint for the win
- Ancient cultures really were brutal
- Riley makes us all look bad by actually creating his game
- Snakes can be tricky
- How did string survive?
- Indiana Jones has given us lots of inspiration/education
- Did I cheat? Who knows!
- I'm a total selfish bastard
- What happened to your hands, Grandma?
Thursday Sep 15, 2022
Thursday Sep 15, 2022
Thursday Sep 15, 2022
We've put out some seeds on our feeder, each hoping to collect the best selection of birds - but watch out for those bastard crows! Highlights include:
- What is this?? ~30???
- Everyone knows birds love to queue
- If a seal turns up at your feeder, you've automatically lost
- To win, you need to be strategicking
- How do you gender a bird anyway?
- Greenfinches were just not interested in our seeds
- Mark invented 'Creator Corner' then promptly forgot all about it
- Look out for the common or garden Pinchback
- What else has eggs?
Thursday Sep 08, 2022
Thursday Sep 08, 2022
Thursday Sep 08, 2022
Grace's nemesis and all-round biatch, Cynthia Whipshaft is hosting the Welcome Back Ball - can't possibly go wrong, surely?
Thursday Sep 01, 2022
Thursday Sep 01, 2022
Thursday Sep 01, 2022
Classic novelist Jane Austen has totally lost the plot and jumped on the zombie bandwagon - the only trouble is, she's set on eradicating her existing stories! Can these beloved characters endure the undead hordes for long enough to complete their narratives? Highlights include:
- It sucks to be a woman in Regency England
- You cannot romance a zombie
- LGBT, yes. Incest, no
- A lady must never be without her bin lids
- Augusta Elton. Gooseberry
- Please, Miss Austen!
- You blink, and suddenly zombies are everywhere
- She better run!
Thursday Aug 25, 2022
Thursday Aug 25, 2022
Thursday Aug 25, 2022
We are about to enter the dungeon... who knows what lurks behind the door. Will it be immense treasures or weird monsters? Who knows! Highlights include:
- Apologies for the shit quality - I got the settings wrong, whoops!
- Make way for the Dragon Master
- This game lasted 84 years
- Sarah's tinfoil hat is inordinately strong
- It's all a bit beige
- You REALLY need to read your cards
- Sarah needs to learn the meaning of 'helping'
- Amanda loves her some buffs and nerfs...
- We phoned Simon while he was driving, but it's ok, we didn't kill him
Thursday Aug 18, 2022
Thursday Aug 18, 2022
Thursday Aug 18, 2022
It's 1894 and we've decided to build a railway right to the top of Snowdon, the highest mountain in Wales (and England to be fair...) like you do. Who can build the most stuff and make the most meaningful contribution to this effort? Highlights include:
- It's the Snowdonia Deluxe Master Set, and don't you forget it!
- 30 minutes or 90 minutes: there is no middle ground
- Mark is an honorary Snowdon Mountain Railway driver
- Do they have trains in Dungeons and Dragons?
- I regularly mix up steel and iron... what you gonna do about it?
- There will be no lollygagging whatsoever
- We don't speak about the Hebron Incident
- What do you need coal for?
- Guaranteed a yeti will fuck up your railway
- Mark introduces a new section, Creator Profile
- Tony Boydell is trains to the max
- Here's the player aid tome
- Time to assign your labradors
Thursday Aug 11, 2022
Thursday Aug 11, 2022
Thursday Aug 11, 2022
Safely back from their ordeal, our heroes stumble on the perfect opportunity to explore the vaults beneath the school - will they discover anything that can help explain what's going on?
Thursday Aug 04, 2022
Thursday Aug 04, 2022
Thursday Aug 04, 2022
All of society's greatest are gathered for a simply scrumptious morning tea, but who can put on the best spread? Highlights include:
- Tea? That's the 1800s isn't it?
- Yeah, but how does it actually work?
- Strap in for the worst explanation of a game ever
- Why would you give away your milk?
- Just leave each other's tea alone!
- Alright darlin, flash us your kitchen
- Afternoon tea is only for ladies
- Tactics! Strategy! Tea!
- If it's already in the box from the start, is it an expansion?
- Nan's gone to bed, get the cocks out!
- Congratulations to Mark for remembering the format of an episode
Thursday Jul 28, 2022
Thursday Jul 28, 2022
Thursday Jul 28, 2022
Turns out that the self flying brooms were possessed, and now Jessie and Merida find themselves being whisked away to a mystery location - who or what will they find when they get there? And what will the rest of the team do without them?
Thursday Jul 21, 2022
Thursday Jul 21, 2022
Thursday Jul 21, 2022
It's Friday at Hollyfirth, and everyone is excited about the grand finale of Barry Cooper's tournament, with the prizes being presented at a special Whack concert. What could go wrong?
Thursday Jul 14, 2022
Thursday Jul 14, 2022
Thursday Jul 14, 2022
It's the end of our fourth year! Find out all the best bits! Highlights include:
- Derek Ring is yesterday's news
- Introducing the Fluxx Desk. Your drawers will never be the same again!
- Polyhedra sleeps...
- Trains and Potholes!!!!
- Which was the fake game?
- Mark cannot remember Mysterium
- Horrorclix is basically an ancient game now
- Sarah thinks the stickers are hilarious
- Mark seems to love Tiny Library way more than he let on
Thursday Jul 07, 2022
Thursday Jul 07, 2022
Thursday Jul 07, 2022
Mark's dream comes true as we play Brent Povis' other game! But can my dogs out... dog his? Highlights include:
- I'm still croaky
- A bonus surprise from Brent himself!
- Dog games are not my thing
- Mark finds reading the box particularly challenging
- Our first ever rondel
- I want to summon the dark lord Cthulhu, should I?
- Does Crufts still exist?
- A serious bagging issue has occurred
- What was the fake game?
Wednesday Jun 29, 2022
Wednesday Jun 29, 2022
Wednesday Jun 29, 2022
It's 1930s Berlin and we're trying to choose the best government possible. The only problem is that one of us is secretly Hitler. Ugh! I hate it when that happens! Highlights include:
- Not as much fun as watching Madonna fall down the stairs at Eurovision
- Newent: It's a magical place
- Amanda's amazing 1933 Berlin intro was not recorded
- We're all here solely for the parliamentary procedure
- It's all about the lies
- Jane was a huge fascist just out of curiosity
- Being liberal isn't as fun as killing people
- Sarah thought there were more fascists than there actually were. We've all been there.
- I lost my 4
- Envelopes always make you feel like a spy
- Like most things, when you're dead, there's nothing to do
- Chancellor by default - it's a hollow victory
- Sarah's description of Cluedo: That game where it's you, in the room, with the knife
Thursday Jun 23, 2022
Thursday Jun 23, 2022
Thursday Jun 23, 2022
Meadows, streams, and a load of animals with specific requirements. Who can build the best ecosystem and keep everyone happy, or who'll end up with a poor bunny surrounded by wolves? Highlights include:
- Mark saw, Mark bought, we played
- Oooh, a biologically derived card game!
- Everyone knows the bears and the foxes don't get on
- Anybody heard of a Fwolf?
- Mark doesn't know the difference between a bee and a dragonfly
- You never know if your forest will get taken over by wolves - it's always a risk
- Yes, Mark does say 'coral leaf'
- Obviously, the next logical step is the zombie apocalypse
- Let's introduce some invasive bastards
Thursday Jun 16, 2022
Thursday Jun 16, 2022
Thursday Jun 16, 2022
Who can gain the most glory in this dice building game of quiddity, quarry and... q words! Highlights include:
- Brent Povis, are you still out there?
- As usual, we're playing things in the wrong order. Here's the version before Marvel Dice Masters
- Still not a fan of the rulebook...
- Nobody likes to win by default
- The more expensive a dice, the better, right?
- But could it be done with mushrooms?
- Summon the Royal Dorrier
- Games are always better when they're tactful
Thursday Jun 09, 2022
Thursday Jun 09, 2022
Thursday Jun 09, 2022
We're off for a scourage in the woods to see who can cook the best mushrooms. As you do. Highlights include:
- We were not actually mushrooms
- There's a pronunciation debate
- Don't use Twitter to tell someone who doesn't have Twitter to get Twitter
- You have to pick these mushrooms quick
- There are some complicated mushroom names
- It's all about the pans, baby!
- What the hell is scouraging?
- You won't believe this, but poison is bad
- Sorry, there isn't any delicious dinner tonight. I swapped it for sticks...
- Which came first, cider or fire?
- Why do you always use a wicker basket?
- Game mechanic - tick. Tasty mushroom medleys - cross.
Thursday Jun 02, 2022
Thursday Jun 02, 2022
Thursday Jun 02, 2022
We branch out in our escape game experience by trying Unlock. In French. Don't ask. Highlights include:
- We totally butcher some French (the language, not the people)
- Hooray for tutorial mode!
- On your guard, or on your toes - choose your translation
- The icy surface of Hoth is an environment that's shit
- The app is literally amazing
- A triangle has three sides, duh
- It's a messy FRAG this week...
- You can't criticise what you can't read
Thursday May 26, 2022
Thursday May 26, 2022
Thursday May 26, 2022
It's Thursday at Hollyfirth, but after finding an obvious clue the previous day, our heroes decide to complete ignore it. Whatever.